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Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lessons

Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lessons

 By Cassandra George Sturges

Fifty Shades of Grey is probably my favorite book in the world—but not for the reasons that most people may think. Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele’s sexual relationship was mildly entertaining to me. It’s not that I am a prude—it was simply just sex—how many mammals emotionally connect and reproduce—a necessary part of the book that demonstrates their electrical chemical attraction for each other. The real magic is in the love-story and I am a love-story fanatic.

What astounded me was the self-transformational journey through the healing power of true unconditional love. Although Anastasia was financially poor, untraveled, and lacked sexual experience—she was emotionally and psychologically rich. Christian’s love gave Anastasia an opportunity to see how strong and wise she really was. On the other hand, Christian was financially wealthy, had been everywhere, owned everything—but his soul was broken and empty. Anastasia’s love allowed Christian to express his vulnerability and heal his childhood wounds.

There were several spiritual lessons that resonated with me in Fifty Shades of Grey that I want to share with you.

Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lesson # 1: Wanting More is a Good Thing


Anastasia’s desire for “more” tugged at the depths of my soul. All humans have a desire for more in some area of their life. Some people want more health, more friends, more children, more fun, more love, more money, more homes, more cars, more clothes, more hit records, more business opportunities, more acting roles,— I could go on forever.

Wanting More is not a small thing. In fact, it is your soul telling you not to settle for less than you deserve. It is your soul reminding you that you are worth more; and that your current situation is not in alignment with your true value.

If you are not earning the money or respect that, you feel that you deserve on your job—you probably have a voice that is telling you every day that you deserve more. Listen to that voice. Update your resume. Start applying for a new job today.

If your More voice is begging you to go back to school to get a degree or learn a trade—take heed. This is your soul telling you that you have more to contribute to yourself and society. It is pushing you to be all that you can be.

The most important thing you can do is make sure that you define what more means for you. It means something different to every human on the planet. If you don’t know what type of More you are really looking for –you won’t recognize it when it comes.

Anastasia knew what she wanted. She didn’t want more clothes, cars, or money. She wanted Christian to open up to her. She wanted him to talk to her. She wanted to touch him. She wanted to wake up next to him. She wanted him to respect her body by not using physical force during lovemaking.

If you don’t know what your “More” is—you won’t know when you find it. I love Anastasia’s determination to never accept less than the “More” that she deserves.

Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lesson # 2: We are all Virgins


Christian and Anastasia were both virgins in different ways. Christian had had sex with many women; but his heart was still a virgin. Spiritually and psychologically, in my opinion, he was more of a virgin than Anastasia. Due to the childhood abuse and neglect afflicted upon him as a young child and the sexual abuse that he experienced as a teenager, an emotional wall protected his heart.

Christian gave women material things such as money, clothes, and cars—so that he wouldn’t have to give them what really mattered—his heart. His love. His trust.

Anastasia was a goddess in waiting. She wasn’t sexually active—not because she was afraid of sex—but the exact opposite. She knew her feminine worth. She wanted intimacy on her terms, with someone that she selected—not some guy who selected her.

If Anastasia had been sexually experienced, I think, like many women, she may have been jaded about men, love, and relationships. Her innocence allowed her to see through the walls surrounding Christian’s heart. Brick by brick—she took Christian’s virginity.

In so many ways, all humans are virgins. The virginity spiritual lesson from Fifty Shades of Grey is to be very cautious about whom you give your virginity to for two reasons: you can never ever get it back; and it will shade your view of the circumstances for the rest of your life.

For example, if you have a friend that you trusted with a secret and they betrayed you—you will never quite look at friendship the same again.

Being a virgin is a spiritual gift. I am referring to all new meaningful life experiences. The secret to giving your virginity away to the right person is knowing that –no matter what the outcome is—you would never want to take that moment back. Be keenly aware of why you are participating in any activity. What do you expect to gain? What are you risking?


Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lesson # 3:

Are you Sleeping Together or “Sleeping” Together


Christian admitted to Anastasia that he had “slept” with several women—but he always “slept” alone in his own bed.

We are never more vulnerable than when we are sleeping. When my children were babies, I watched them sleep. Now that my children are adults, when given the opportunity—I watch them sleep. It’s strange but I want to make sure that they are breathing. If I happen to wake up during the night, I make sure my significant other is breathing.

In many ways, actually sleeping with a person is more intimate and precious than having sexual intercourse with them. When you sleep with someone, you trust him or her to keep your deepest and darkest secrets. If you happen to say or do, something incriminating in your sleep-- you trust that that person will still love you in the morning.

You are never more vulnerable than when you are asleep; and therefore you must trust that the person lying next to you will not, rape, rob, or murder you. Right?

The spiritual lesson in Fifty Shades of Grey about sleeping with someone is that—Sometimes it may appear that a person is giving you everything—but the truth is—they are giving you nothing at all if they don’t trust you. In addition, if they don’t trust you—then what you are sharing with them is meaningless.




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